I've not been writing a lot lately, and have even found writing to be an utter chore thanks to having to meet deadlines and keeping to rigid, specific styles that 'sound' correct. I've forgotten what it felt like to write from the heart. I guess you could say I'd lost that certain spark from long ago.
I've been watching films for inspiration while doing my writing assignments, and right now as well (when I should be writing my quota of 1000 words a day). I've watched about four films this week when I usually wouldn't even watch a film a month. I have to say this has really helped me out of my 'creative drought', as I would call it. I watched Whispers of The Heart just now and I was utterly surprised at how it took me back to my high school days when I was obsessed with writing stories in my many brown, exercise books. I didn't care about the grammar, or whether it sounded 'correct', but I was all bent on spilling my heart and soul into my writing. I even got caught in class once and had my book confiscated, but that didn't stop me from starting all over again. I had forgotten what zeal felt like. I had forgotten why I wanted to be a writer at 13. But I've already given up that idealistic dream, though. Reality is harsher than what my 13-year-old self had conjoured up in her mind. But after watching that film, I feel it coming back - that spark of flame. I could feel all the pent up frustrations of the protagonist as she struggles to write a novel in a mere span of two months (sorry, spoilers), how she is absorbed into the world she created, and how she felt totally incompetent and her work meager, compared to the boy she likes who's off pursuing his dream in Italy. I totally understood that (except the last part) and it brought tears to my eyes. The joy you feel when you let someone read your raw material, your first draft, your unpolished gem, and receiving positive feedback from it is euphoric, and it was depicted beautifully in the film. Even though it was just a simple scene, but it resonated with me and brought back the once lost memories of when I would shamelessly let my schoolmates read my work, and reading their encouraging feedback would always inspire me to continue writing.
I enjoy how Miyazaki is able to express people's desires so vividly in his work and how they are able to inspire so many hearts to keep doing what they love. My work's still not great, and sometimes I hate how I'm unable to phrase sentences that make sense, but a little inspiration goes a long way.
Enough ranting, for now. Back to telling stories.