Sui Generis

Have you ever felt this intense urge in your heart, this longing in your soul to go somewhere --  to return to a place you don't physically call home? It's been more than a month since I went to Japan. Suffice to say, I felt what I mentioned above at Haneda airport while counting down the minutes to my departure back to England. New and old friends patiently waited with me as I queued up to checked-in, ate with me my last Japanese dinner bought at the convenience store, and took an abundance of digital memories. These things made it all the more difficult to let go and leave. I put on a smile, wide enough that even my own consciousness is fooled, laughed loudly, assuring myself and the others that I will be back the following year -- the same promise I made the previous year. But life is unexpected and plans are ephemeral. The inital aim of this post was to reflect on my time in Japan (which was no less exciting as the previous time), but I guess it ended up sounding a litt...

I realised something. Sitting in the departure hall of terminal two in Heathrow two hours early, I read a book -- Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto -- to kill time. Opposite me are a British (I think) couple, probably in their fifties, with eyes peering through their spectacles at the ipads held between their slightly stubby fingers. And here I am, reading a small, thin novella, 150 pages, with a glaringly pink cover. As my own tired eyes (five hours in the bus is no joke) and foggy mind struggled to comprehend the printed words, relaxing and unwinding, a thought, quiet as a passing whisper, struck me like a gong. I've always enjoyed reading physical books where I can touch, flip its pages and smell them, feel its weight in my hands. Electronic devices like tablets have been introducing new features with each new model; the feeling of flipping a page, the sound of flipping the page, all without the hassle of weight and with extra capacity. But, obviously the very experience of reading an...

I think God taught me something today -- that's not to say that he doesn't teach you something everyday, but today, for some reason, after getting my pay I was, in a way, placed in a couple of situations where I was forced to use that money (for reasons I won't state) instead of keeping it for my saving's account like I always do. The lesson only struck me as I sat down for a relatively cold dinner: money is not meant to be kept and never used. You don't earn money to hoard it all, admiring the numbers that increase each time you deposit your salary, but to spend it on the things you need. Money, if you think of it in this way, is essentially not yours. Sure you earned it, and have every right to claim your hard earned cash -- but it's not yours. If you think about it this way, it is God's money you're spending. Why? He's the one who provided you with the job. He's the one who gave you the means and chances to hone your skills to get that job. He...

I've not been writing a lot lately, and have even found writing to be an utter chore thanks to having to meet deadlines and keeping to rigid, specific styles that 'sound' correct. I've forgotten what it felt like to write from the heart. I guess you could say I'd lost that certain spark from long ago. I've been watching films for inspiration while doing my writing assignments, and right now as well (when I should be writing my quota of 1000 words a day). I've watched about four films this week when I usually wouldn't even watch a film a month. I have to say this has really helped me out of my 'creative drought', as I would call it. I watched Whispers of The Heart  just now and I was utterly surprised at how it took me back to my high school days when I was obsessed with writing stories in my many brown, exercise books. I didn't care about the grammar, or whether it sounded 'correct', but I was all bent on spilling my heart and soul ...

It's been such a busy month. It feels as though it's comparable to final year during undergrad, but I can't really remember how it all felt now. It seemed like a lifetime ago when I submitted that blasted dissertation. LOL Had my final Japanese exam (writing and listening) right after Easter holidays (didn't even realise it was that soon omg /panic) but I think I nailed it. As a result of desperately prepping myself in a span of a week, I started a Japanese blog on Ameba/Ameblo. It's such a strange and interesting place. I mean, it's almost like Friendster and Myspace all over again (minus the super bling-ed profile pages)! I still can't read 90% of the stuff over there but at least there's the 10%, right? I did pray for tangible improvement, and I guess that prayer is answered? Three weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to construct sentences, let alone write (super short) paragraphs. And now I have a blog. Let's hope it doesn't turn into ...

Imagine yourself at a library. You’re walking past the many shelves of books and come to the section of your favourite genre. Your eyes scan the many titles of a various thickness and size, written by thousands of authors. Your index finger brush against the spines of books that sit neatly arranged in rows for its next reader to take home. You pick the first book out —intrigued by its title— open its cover, flip a few pages, and return it to its place. It wasn't a book you wanted to invest your time in. You move on to the next one that catches your fancy. This one has pages slightly weathered, its cover dented in a couple of pages and some stains that could possibly be coffee. Or brown paint. The bright colour of the cover had taken your attention. You do the same: take it off the shelf, give it a quick glance over, then shaking your head you put it back. This continues on for the next several books. After what seems like a long time, you’re worn out, feeling hopeless that yo...